So Yesterday...

was one of the more exciting days that I've had in awhile. Like it was a really big deal for me. Every day, I come home from work and ask my mother, almost in a panic, "Did we get any mail today?! WHERE is it??!!!" What I'm looking for is law school stuff, acceptance letters, scholarship stuff, etc.

Here's the thing about my life plan as of now. I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know any lawyers, I'm not a political science or history major, my college doesn't even HAVE a legal department (a few classes, yes, anything official, NO). I started this process seemingly on a whim. Everytime I breakup or want to break up with a boy, I feel this huge need to assert my independence. I cut my hair. I lose weight. I do anything that says (to no one in particular) I don't need you. I'm fabulous as is. So I'd been thinking some random "being a lawyer would be cool" thoughts, and THIS display of being my own person was taking the LSATs. It was more expensive than the hair cut and the 100 calorie packs and that almost discouraged me but I thought what the heck. I'll see what happens. Then my brother-in-law told me about the International Justice Mission (maybe I'll blog about it some other time, but suffice it to say that if you don't know about it you should do some research, like right now!!!). The more I looked into it, the more excited it got me. I don't really feel like writing about WHY I want to become a lawyer right now either (another time friends!) but what I will say is that I really do want this, it seems like the right thing for me so far, and I actually feel a sense of obligation. That whole "to whom much has been given, much will be expected" thing. It is speaking RIGHT. TO. ME. I'm the girl who has been given much. I'm the girl of whom much will be expected. That's where part of my perfectionist nature comes in too.

So back to the mail last night. One of the schools I'm considering has quite a few things going for it right now in my mind. They have this program where students work on cases of prisoners where there is reasonable doubt that the prisoner is actually guilty. They have a clinic for disability law. They have a Christian legal society (I think all law schools have this actually. But I'm still counting it as a perk.) It's the cheapest one. AND last night they sent me a letter offering me a hefty amount of scholarship money. I'm excited about the money aspect. Very excited. I'm even more excited about something else. Maybe this is a stretch, but in my mind, that letter said "We think you got what it takes; so much so in fact that we're going to invest in you financially." And I just needed to hear that from someone who is knowledgeable and well objective. My friends/family/professors think I can do it, but in my mind, none of those people KNOW w hat it takes to succeed at what I'm trying to do. It was just a huge relief for me. Once again, no conclusion to anything, but I have to go because me and my mom are planning a trip and the planning needs to happen nowwwwww:)