Somebody Spell it Out For Me!!!

Yay for a snow day! Yesterday I worked 15 hours and not much else. Today I worked four hours, followed by countless shows, a bath, and a 3.5 hour nap. O how the tides have turned:) I think something about all that sleep today helped me to process the thoughts I've been thinking about Jesus lately. I will attempts to write them out here....

While I don't always put this into practice, I do know that it is a BAD idea to compare myself to other people. I will hardly ever be the prettiest, smartest, funniest, thinnests, anythingelseiest person in the room (unless perhaps I am in the room alone). Add to this the fact that I am a big perfectionist, and comparing myself to others can lead to my priorities getting really screwed up really quickly.

Here's a little bit of background info on me: I went to an extremely legalistic Christian school through 10th grade. I was told in the fifth grade that if I had any unconfessed sin (and who doesn't?), when I get to heaven Jesus is going to play it on a movie projector in front of EVERYONE. So I had better confess it now. Try digesting that piece of information when you're 12. I spent an entire summer sick to my stomach and doing ridiculous things like calling my 3rd grade teacher to apologize for stealing starbursts from her prize box. This is just one extreme example. It wasn't all that harsh. I think the message that they were trying to convey was that there is some responsibility on your part. You shouldn't be a Christian who doesn't care. I don't even know if you can be. But the message in my mind was clear: You HAVE to be good. Jesus doesn't accept flaws, failures, or bad days. I was on a quest for perfection. And to give you the short version of the story, it didn't work out.

Now, I think me and God have this deal about what we're going to bring to the table: I'm going to bring the abilities that I have, my energy, alot of hard work. I'm going to find a passion for something that actually matters and pursue it. And He's going to bring EVERYTHING ELSE. He's going to take my efforts that aren't good enough and make good things out of them. He's going to provide opportunities that I didn't even think of. He's just going to make everything good. And it's going to be ENOUGH. (I think that's called grace). I think He offers these deals to everyone. But ours is personal.

So back to me trying to be like other people. I think it's a bad idea. Because people don't live perfectly. I do believe that Jesus was the only perfect example of living. So I've been looking at the Gospels lately. I'm in Matthew right now. (If I make it to John in the near future I'll be very impressed with my consistency). And the thing is, I'm slightly frusterated with the progression. Jesus started his ministry when he was 33. I am 22. How do I find the similarities here?? Jesus spent 33 years preparing for a 3 year ministry. When Jesus was 22, He was a carpenter and PREPARING for those 3 years. I think. What did that look like?? What did He think about at work? How did He feel? Was he angry at the same things that I'm angry at? Did the same things break His heart? Was he outspoken, or was it not the right time to speak out? How much wine did he think was an acceptable amount to drink? (Ok, the last question isn't super important. But I'd like to know.)

I have some clues from the Bible. There's that verse that says, "And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man." That's kind of encouraging. He wasn't at his wisdom peak when he was 12. I'm assuming He wasn't when he was 22 either. There was a progression that He was pursuing. Maybe I don't have to be at that peak right now. I know He spent ALOT of time in the temple, discussing/debating/arguing with teachers about the Bible. I think I'm safe to assume that not only did He know his Old Testament, He wasn't afraid of a little controversy (I like that!) I know that at 33, He had habits that he had to have been working on for awhile. You don't just magically have the ability to fast for 40 days and spend hours in prayer. You don't just magically know the Bible that well.

So, in summary, I know that Jesus spent his time working as a carpenter (low to moderate levels of excitement, I'm guessing) and developing some really slammin habits. Then, when the time was right, He picked up and left on a crazy adventure. So, I'm thinking, "Are there similarities here? Am I developing really slammin habits also? Am I finding a purpose? Am I getting ready for adventure? Am I getting ready to spend my time helping people and getting angry at/taking action against the right things?"

Are me and Jesus' lives similar??