so last night i went back to bloomsburg to visit for the night to see two of my FAVORITE people. things were pleasantly the same as before i left. we survived a creeper of waiter at dennys (which is weird-usually the creepy people are working at taco bell), drove around bc once again bloomsburg has found a way to test the patience of kids who need overnight parking. i used katherine's laptop as an office while she did real work on paper. we tried to revive one sad little hampster with sunlight-to no avail. business as usual.

and as i was driving home through towns where my little car doesn't get and radio reception, i thought about how relieved i was that things were still alot the same. i only have a handful of REALLY close friends-and they're all either married or currently living far away. i'm thrilled for the good marriages (don't see many of those anymore) and excited for the ways everyone's lives are evolving. but there's always a part of me that's scared that one day i'll wake up and no longer fit into those evolving lives. i know that mine's changing too, but right now it really doesn't seem that way. every day's the same. i wake up, go to work, come home, take a shower, and go back to work until bedtime. "off" time usually means laundry, cleaning the mess i left, running errands, making lunches. it's all the same. every day i worry that
1.) my life is way too boring right now and i need to cut back on working so that i can have more of one and
2.) that i won't have enough money to make it through school so i'd better work even more hours than before.

i know these thoughts don't go together. but they're both a constant worry. we used to sit around at school and worry about our lives too. it was a three year conversation about how we don't exactly know what we're DOING. but it was ok, even comforting, because we all felt that way, and the conversation would inevitably end with a comforting trip to taco bell or episode of the biggest loser. so, i was happy to see some of my girls and THRILLED for the comfort of eating too much and little jack and sleeping on the floor and even the slamming doors and little k.